I'm So Good At Keeping Up With Posts!

Since I'm (absolutely not) SO GREAT at posting with any sense of regularity, I have a whole term of happenings to record... Of course, that's probably not going to happen, as it's almost 5am and I have to write a (whole) research paper before Monday (read: tomorrow), so HIGHLIGHTS!

One thing that I think the whole universe just NEEDS to know about is my love life (or debatably lack there of).

I had one of the most awkward moments of my life a while back. Of my life.
In my desperate attempts to find a lover (NO SHAME. [well, just a little/a whole goddamn lot]), I downloaded the apps Grindr and Scruff. If you don't know what these are (which is probably for the best), they are gay dating apps that show you all the people with the app around you, and how far away from you they are (which is actually kind of [really] creepy). A lot of people use these apps as a means to find people to hook up with and have casual sex, but a lot of other people (like myself) use these apps to survey the queer scene, form friendships, or hunt for people to potentially date.

Explanations completed, one day I was browsing the meat market (sometimes, sadly, that is what it appears to be) and found a guy who piqued my interest. It should be noted that this was an older man, and while I've never pursued a man of age (not SUPER old) before, I thought it could be a good opportunity for self-exploration. So, we get to talking, and eventually schedule a date. Said date would consist of grabbing some pizza, and then going to a movie. In chatting (IMing) with this person, I thought we had a decent connection, and was pretty down with this.

Come the time of the date, I was totally running late (I HAVE ISSUES WITH MANAGING MY TIME, OKAY), but then I actually got there on time, so no biggie, go me. So, I get there, and look around for the guy, and I can't find him. He eventually comes up to me, and I was surprised, because of course he looked nothing like his picture. He also had this really horrible goatee, and he totally reminded me of my father, and it was just really really (REALLY) awkward. I feel kind of really mean saying all this, but he was just kind of pathetic. At least my father has the redeeming qualities of knowing what he wants, some passion/drive, and a fiery, competitive, fuck you spirit. This guy had very (VERY) little going on in his life.

As the date progressed, I just really wanted out of there, and eventually went to the bathroom and TEXTED MY FRIEND, ASKING HER CALL ME WITH AN EMERGENCY. It was that bad. I did nor want to spend another couple hours (or minutes) with this person in a movie (or at all). So we leave pizza, are walking to the movie theater, and I get the call. Of course, then I decide to not take the call because I felt too guilty (LIKE A POOR, BEAUTIFUL, NAIVE FOOL), and sat through a painfully long movie with this guy.

When we got out, I gave the old "thanks for a pleasant time (LIE)," and gave him a hug. PRAISE THE LORD a kiss didn't happen. He asked me if I wanted a ride back to my house, and I'm all "NO THANK YOU I LOVE COLD NIGHT WALKS" and booked it out of there.

As I'm walking home, I run into a couple of my friends who were walking downtown to do bar karaoke, and of course I join them because I NEED A DAMN DRINK. Or five.

This is my life.

Awkward followed by awkward smothered in awkward with an extra topping of MOTHAFLIPPIN' awkward.

I'm actually super amused by this in retrospect, but god, in the moment, SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.

xoxo,
a

I'm a Learn-ed Scholar.

So, lately I've been trying to teach myself guitar. I haven't been doing too well.
(I've also been trying to teach myself the banjo, but I've been doing so poorly with that I've put mine up for sale [among a variety of other reasons. Like money. And admitting I don't commit well.]).

I came across a basic tutorial/lesson plan for theory/the crucial beginning shit that I thought I'd actually attempt to learn.
One of the tips was to memorize the open strings first. This is importaint (haha taint typo).
Lo and behold, I didn't actually know them other than "E blah blah blah blah E."
(My 'fake it till you make it' mantra isn't always great! Sometimes I actually have to learn things!)

It was kind of embarrassing. "I don't know shit" kind of embarrassing.

Well, as the insomniac/weirdo that I am, I decided to do something about that. At least, the part where I needed to learn a measly six fucking strings.

Lately I've been pushing myself to create more art, so I decided that was what I needed to do.
As a means of helping myself out, I also thought I'd turn to the proven technique of mnemonics.

According to the (amazing) book Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer, as humans, we remember best both the funny, and the really really dirty. That's kind of me in a nutshell (HAHA nut), and this is what happened. It is 7am. DON'T GIVE A FUCKKKKKKK

Enjoy.

Needless to say, I have 'em all down now.

xoxo,
a

Radio Silence. or death rattle.

Not a whole lot to report for today...
My sleep schedule has been reduced to sunlight-hours only, which I'm not very proud of. I went on one of my regular late-night walks with a friend, and eventually ended up at 7-11, per usual (my choice, not his). I almost bought a Shaq/Arizona cream-soda (Weird branding combo, right?), but by the magic of the universe, their card readers were broken and I had to put it back. A drunk girl offered to buy it for me, but I think she was, though standing right there, completely oblivious to the conversation outlining how cards don't work. So I politely declined.

So. Many. Activities.

Hopefully I'll do something with my fucking life in the very near future.

Like get a job.
(Yes, mom, I am trying. Sort of. Probably not as much as I should be.)

Or make some art.

Or finally get around to working out.

Or........

Yeah, that's pretty much my life right now. Mediocre ideas that eventually I do nothing with.

I never said I was a role-model...

On to another day.

xoxo,
a

We're #1...

I suppose I should say a little about this blog. Give it a name. Give it a face. Create an identity for this personhood.

I would like to keep a record of my thoughts. My actions. My dreams. This is a public blog (for now), so there will surely be some level of censorship (read: omission) to maintain a certain level of privacy, but this is my diary. These are my musings.
This is a chronology of my life.
I'm not entirely sure who I'm doing this for. Probably myself. Potentially others.
I feel that conscious reflection is something that is often lacking in my life. I'm not very good at keeping up. Writing down. Reading back. Working through.

I have a head full of thoughts and no way to let them out.

So to this I pledge to work and write. I will take the special moments of my life, write them down, and with them,
DO SOMETHING.

xoxo,
a